The advantages of making paintings have obviously improved my wellness. I had been pushing myself to exist in the economic growth environment and be one of the box-ticking members of society for a number of years.
During this time and on reflection, struggles were challenged. Many of these have been beneficial to the development of aspects of my character but not necessarily much use to my general health. This manifested as a heart attack that happened on Christmas day, 2013.
Here was a final call to action. Over the years a number of events occurred that most cognisant beings would have recognised as a loud call. My programming was what some might describe as a protestant work ethic. Others may discuss them as a clear case of denial.
Ten years before the heart failure I had a breakdown. I was sitting staring at my computer in an office; frozen and pale. A work colleague came into my room took one look at me and suggested that I went home. I got in my car and burst into uncontrollable floods of tears. I hadn’t really slept properly for many years and my body was not producing the necessary chemicals to help me do this.
I was off work for quite a few months and decided that I should quit my job and do something different. I have three children who were at this point 6,8, and 10 years old. I made perfunctory explorations into more valuable means of supporting them. Then I went back to work on a part-time basis, still with the determination to change.
Quite quickly part of my consciousness decided that the job wasn’t that bad and after all, I knew how to get by. I then went back to full-time with the decision not to do any extra work. OH, that goal had a huge hole in the net. Before long I had a job with twice as much responsibility as the one that had put me in the situation to start with.
So clock forward 7 years and I had a seizure. Long story short nothing was diagnosed. I kept having minor episodes but this denial response continued.
Fortunately for me, two years
At the same time, I started to draw and then paint. Amazingly I started to sell paintings. A light went on and I realised that if I applied myself at some point I could have a great life based on my artwork.
I set up a small business and to my credit, the first two years saw a small profit with no impact on my domestic costs. That was quite an achievement.
Last year I thought it would be cool to get online with my story and see what developed. So here I am with a new website that I have built ptlarts.com.
I am on the second iteration of a free online course that shares some of my ideas on how to paint. Through this process, I am beginning to feel that not only can I help people paint but I may also have the tools and personality to help people get their creative endeavours up and running.
At the same time, I hope to introduce people to the possibility of changing this wiring preferably at a quicker rate than it has taken me.
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